The pressure that social media is putting on us as the 'kawaida mwananchi' is immense. Trying to be something you are not is taking the day each day. If you and I are not well informed, we might fall in the trap of hating and undermining ourselves without knowing most people are living a lie out her. Well, Risper Faith who is a Kenya celebrity has been accused and is currently on the spotlight for photo-shopping her facial structure on a photo of the US based curvy digital content creator who goes by the name Ms. Kristine. In the year 2016, Kristine uploaded a perectly shot picture of herself in a black skirt and top that was neatly tucked into the skirt. To add some spice, the whole outfit was groomed by a shade of green coat which perfectly perfected the look. Risper, however took the exact picture, did some editing including darkening the black skirt and top and literally photo-shopped her face into the Kristine's picture retaining all her jewelry! This could not go un...
Wajackoyah Manifesto- Exporting the Hyena's Testicles, Dog Meat and Hyena; Deporting Idle Foreigners, Making Isiolo the Capital City
The man of the show is none other that The Professor. Well, not the famous one from the popular T.V. show but our very from Western Kenya, Professor Wajackoyah. He has gained massive popularity since he announced his interest in vying for office.
Prof. Wajackoyah leads the Roots Party which has become so popular because of the narrative that once he is in office, he is gong to legalize bhang. This has not left the tongues of Kenyans since this announcement. Today evening, the party has launched its manifesto which has won the hearts of many and left others with smiley faces and stitches.
"1000 hyenas have 2000 testicles. Chinese use hyena testicles as medicine. A testicle costs about Sh6 million. It is much more than ganja. We shall export the testicles, dog meat and hyenas. "-Prof. Wajackoyah
The Professor together with his running Justina Wamae and the Roots Party at large have compiled this manifesto with the intention of winning the hearts of many and therefore winning the elections.
Here is the Roots Party Manifesto:
1. Legalize Bhang
An acre of bhang is expected to generate Kshs. 16 M. The Roots government will pay Kenya'a debt in a year's time. The taxes collected from the plant will be used to fund the country's budget.
2. Rearing of Snake
Each farmer who rears a venomous snake will earn an average of 6,000 USD or Kshs. 600,000 per vial of anti-venom. Cobra farmers are expected to earn more than black mamba farmers per vial with them earning 6,300 and 5,300 USD respectively.
3. Exporting dog meat
A kilogram of dog meat costs 6 times more than the goat meat. Since Kenya exports beef, goat meat and lamb to the Middle East, and assuming a kilogram of goat goes at Kshs. 400, then dog meat will be exported at Kshs. 2,400. The Roots government will therefore legalize the export of dog meat.
4. Suspended Constitution
The Roots government will suspend parts of the constitution that do not work. The people of Kenya will be asked what they want .
5. Hang the Corrupt
The government of the Roots Party will hang all those people who will be found guilty of corruption and stealing public resources.
6. Shut Down SGR
This will be replaced by the lorry system which will be revived then.
7. Work for Four Days
Kenyans will have a three-day weekend, that is, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This implies that Kenyans will work for four days in a 24-hour economy.
8. Shifting Capital City to Isiolo
Isiolo being the centre of Kenya and having an International Airport fits to be capital city of the country.
9. Creating 8 States
The party will create 8 states and each will have federal government that will give each community power to make their own decisions.
10. Deporting Idle Foreigners
In their first 100 days in office, the Roots Party government deport all baseless foreigners who have taken jobs that the Kenyan citizens can do.
Can't wait to harvest Bhangi
ReplyDeleteWe gonna be rich 🤣🤣
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